We once thought women had freed themselves from their insecurities… Unfortunately, that’s far from the truth. Today, 2 in 3 women admit to feeling self-conscious about their bodies. And more than 1 in 10 women has already undergone cosmetic surgery(1). Which goes to show there’s still a long way to go before women fully embrace themselves. But before going under the knife, perhaps the answer lies in working on yourself to overcome your insecurities. Easier said than done — but where do you start? Here are 10 tips to banish your insecurities for good!
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Tip no1: Ignore the beauty standards
Beauty standards are everywhere: women’s magazines, advertising, social media. The relentless pressure to lose weight, stay young and beautiful, and excel on every front can be not only overwhelming, but also a breeding ground for insecurities. Completely tuning them out is no easy feat. Yet you’d gain so much by doing so! Simply remind yourself that most of these expectations are entirely unrealistic. Rather than trying to meet them at all costs, focus instead on your well-being.
Tip no2: Take a step back from social media
A second tip that ties closely to the first. The images you see on social media are often heavily edited: retouching software, filters galore, carefully crafted lighting and angles. The bodies on display are frequently far removed from reality. So, three things to do to overcome your insecurities: unfollow accounts that make you feel bad, seek out inspiring ones instead (body positivity, feminism) or ones that make you laugh — and above all, step away from social media. It’s nothing more than a very filtered version of reality (and a real time drain!).
Tip no3: Stop putting yourself down
This one is all about self-confidence… Because yes, overcoming your insecurities requires working on your self-esteem. People with an inferiority complex tend to constantly put themselves down in front of others, even when they receive compliments or achieve great things. They feel like impostors, they downplay their accomplishments, and they automatically brush off any compliment by questioning its sincerity or significance. The goal, then, is to change that pattern: allow others to value you — by valuing yourself first.
Tip no4: Stop fixating
To overcome your insecurities, why not shift your focus to the things you love about yourself? A large part of insecurities are born from self-suggestion: we convince ourselves that our nose is awful, our thighs too big or our stomach not flat enough. The result: all attention becomes locked on that one insecurity, making it impossible to see anything else. It would do a world of good to redirect that focus onto your best features and highlight them: beautiful eyes, slim and long legs, enviable hair, glowing skin. It works — and suddenly, your insecurities take up far less space!
Tip no5: Back to reality
To overcome your insecurities, why not accept the obvious: you are normal. You are human. You are “just like everyone else”. Is that a problem? Not at all. You’re not a model — so what? Models are chosen precisely because their bodies are exceptional, while “normal” bodies make up the vast majority of humanity. Be honest with yourself and see yourself for who you are, rather than envying what you can never be. Healthy, full of charm, surrounded by friends, supported by a loving family… That’s already pretty wonderful, isn’t it?
Tip no6: A positive circle
Since we’re talking about friends and family, know that the people around you play a huge role when it comes to overcoming your insecurities. If those close to you constantly put you down, there’s little chance you’ll ever shake your insecurities. But if you choose your company wisely — surrounding yourself with genuinely positive, loving people — there’s every chance your insecurities will gradually fade away. They’ll also be a precious source of support on the harder days. So invest in positive people, and you’ll almost certainly feel better for it!
Tip no7: Own who you are
Yes, you have flaws — just like everyone else! They may well be fuelling your insecurities. But they shouldn’t feel like a punishment! If you’re avoiding trips to the pool, beach holidays, or certain outfits simply because you don’t like your bottom or your arms, you’re punishing yourself twice over. Overcoming your insecurities means learning to own them. Take it step by step, but steadily: an hour at the pool, a fitted outfit worn for a few hours… Small acts of boldness will help you put things in perspective and gradually embrace what you are: a beautiful person!
Tip no8: Embrace your differences
What if you turned your so-called flaws into your greatest assets? Overcoming your insecurities sometimes means “leaning into” what you consider a flaw — even making it your signature. Think of model Winnie Harlow and her now-iconic vitiligo, influencer Douzefévrier (Julie Bourges) whose skin bears burn scars she wears with pride, singer Lizzo who, despite being plus-size, poses nude on social media without apology, or, going further back, actress Palma de Rossi, who made her unconventional looks her trademark. These women have turned their differences into a kind of signature — a distinctive mark that makes them instantly recognisable… and loved for exactly who they are!
Tip no9: Love yourself
What if it all started with simply loving yourself? Yes, that can feel like a tall order for some. Yes, it requires introspection — sometimes painful introspection — but also a great deal of self-compassion. You only have one life: do you really want to spend it being your own harshest critic? Take time to care for yourself instead. Treat yourself, do exercise at your own pace (with no performance pressure), and tune into your body — and how truly remarkable it is. It keeps you healthy, carries you through life, and allows you to do wonderful things. Overcoming your insecurities means learning to love yourself for who you truly are.
Tip no10: Seek support
If your insecurities are consuming you to the point of affecting your wellbeing, it may be time to consider speaking with a therapist. That “fixation” may be masking a deeper unease. In any case, therapy can be genuinely beneficial: not only to overcome your insecurities, but to address the underlying issues and move past a sense of inadequacy that’s taking up far too much space. Talking has more power than you might think!
Reference
(1) 2020, YouGov Survey, 2 in 3 women admit to feeling self-conscious about their bodies