We once thought women had freed themselves from their insecurities… Unfortunately, that’s far from the truth. Today, 2 in 3 women admit to feeling self-conscious about their bodies. And more than 1 in 10 women have already undergone cosmetic surgery (1). Which goes to show there’s still a long way to go before women can fully embrace themselves. But before considering cosmetic surgery, perhaps the answer lies in working on yourself to overcome your insecurities. Easier said than done — but how exactly? Here are 10 tips to help you make peace with your insecurities, step by step!
Tip 1: Ignore the beauty standards
Beauty standards are everywhere: women’s magazines, advertising, social media. The relentless pressure to lose weight, stay young and beautiful, and excel on every front can be not only overwhelming, but also a breeding ground for insecurities. Completely tuning them out is no easy feat. Yet you’d gain so much by doing so! Simply remind yourself that most of these expectations are utterly unattainable. Rather than trying to meet them at all costs, focus instead on your well-being.
Tip 2: Cut back on social media
A second tip that ties closely to the first. The images you see on social media are often heavily edited: retouching software, filters galore, carefully crafted lighting and angles. The bodies on display are frequently far removed from reality. So, three things you can do to work through your insecurities: unfollow accounts that make you feel bad, seek out inspiring ones instead (body positivity, feminism) or fun ones (think illustrators on Instagram!) — and above all, step away from social media. It’s only a very filtered version of reality (and a real time drain!).
Tip 3: Stop putting yourself down
This is about a lack of self-confidence… Because yes, overcoming your insecurities requires working on your self-esteem. People who struggle with an inferiority complex tend to constantly put themselves down in front of others, even when they receive compliments or achieve great things. They feel like impostors, they downplay their accomplishments, and they automatically brush off any compliment by dismissing its weight (or sincerity!). The goal, then, is to change course: allow others to value you — by valuing yourself first.
Tip 4: Stop fixating
To overcome your insecurities, why not shift your focus to the things you love about yourself? A large part of our insecurities are self-created: we convince ourselves that our nose is awful, our thighs are too big or our stomach isn’t flat enough. The result: all attention becomes locked on that one insecurity, and we lose sight of everything else. It would do wonders to redirect that focus onto your best features and highlight them: beautiful eyes, slim and long legs, enviable hair, glowing skin. Little by little, you may find yourself thinking about your insecurities much less often!
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Tip 5: Back to reality
To overcome your insecurities, why not accept the obvious: you are normal. You are human. You are “just like everyone else”. Is that a problem? Absolutely not. You’re not a model — so what? Models are chosen precisely because their bodies are exceptional, while “normal” bodies make up the vast majority of humanity. Be honest with yourself and see yourself for who you are, rather than envying what you can never be. Healthy, full of charm, surrounded by friends, supported by a loving family… That’s already pretty wonderful, isn’t it?
Tip 6: A positive circle
And since we’re talking about friends and family, know that the people around you play a huge role when it comes to overcoming your insecurities. If those close to you constantly put you down, there’s little chance you’ll shake off your insecurities. But if you choose your company wisely — opting for genuinely positive, caring people — your insecurities may gradually take up less space. They’ll also be a precious source of support during the tough moments. So surround yourself with positive people — you may well feel better for it!
Tip 7: Own who you are
Yes, you have flaws — just like everyone else! They may well be fuelling your insecurities. But they shouldn’t feel like a punishment! If you’re avoiding trips to the pool, beach holidays, or certain outfits simply because you don’t like your bottom or your arms, you’re punishing yourself twice over. Overcoming your insecurities means learning to own them. Take it one step at a time: an hour at the pool, a fitted outfit worn for a few hours… These small acts of boldness will help you put things in perspective and gradually embrace what you are: a beautiful person!
Tip 8: Celebrate what makes you different
What if you turned your so-called flaws into your greatest assets? Overcoming your insecurities sometimes simply means “leaning into” what you consider a flaw — and making it your signature. Think of model Winnie Harlow and her now-iconic vitiligo, influencer Douzefévrier (Julie Bourges), whose skin is marked by burn scars, singer Lizzo who, despite her fuller figure, poses nude on social media — or, further back, actress Rossy de Palma, who made her unconventional looks her trademark. These women turned their differences into a kind of signature, a distinctive mark that makes them instantly recognisable… and appreciated for exactly who they are!
Tip 9: Love yourself
What if it all started with simply loving yourself? Yes, that can feel like a tall order for some. Yes, it requires introspection (sometimes painful)… but also a great deal of self-compassion. You only have one life — do you really want to spend it being your own harshest critic? Take time to look after yourself instead. Treat yourself, exercise at your own pace (with no performance pressure), and tune into your body and all it’s capable of. It’s in good health, it lets you move, get around and do wonderful things. Overcoming your insecurities means learning to love yourself for exactly who you are.
Tip 10: Seek support
If your insecurities are consuming you to the point of affecting your wellbeing, it may be time to consider speaking with a therapist. That “fixation” may be masking a deeper unease. In any case, therapy can offer a helpful space not only to work through your insecurities, but also to address the underlying issues and move past a sense of inadequacy that’s taking up far too much space. Talking has more power than we often realise!
Reference
(1) 2020, YouGov Survey, 2 in 3 women admit to feeling self-conscious about their bodies
Useful categories: Weight Management.
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