We thought women were free from their complexes… Unfortunately, that’s a misconception. Today, 2 out of 3 women admit to being self-conscious about their bodies. And more than 1 in 10 women have already had cosmetic surgery(1). Suffice it to say, there’s still a long way to go before women fully accept themselves. But before resorting to surgery, perhaps it’s time to work on yourself to overcome your complexes. Agreed, but how? Here are 10 tips to get rid of your complexes for good!
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Tip no1: Ignore Beauty Standards
Beauty standards are everywhere: women’s magazines, advertising, social media. Constant pressure to lose weight, stay young and beautiful, and excel on all fronts can not only be suffocating but also generate plenty of complexes. It’s hard to completely detach from them. Yet you’d gain so much! Simply remind yourself that most of these demands are perfectly unrealistic. So rather than trying to conform to them at all costs, focus more on your well-being.
Tip no2: Beware of Social Media
A second tip that’s quite similar to the first. Images on social media are often doctored: editing software, filters galore, careful lighting and photo angles. The bodies displayed there are often far from reality. So here are three things to do to overcome your complexes: unfollow accounts that hurt you, choose inspiring accounts instead (body positivity, feminism) or funny ones (think of female illustrators on Instagram!), and most importantly, disconnect from social media. They’re just a very virtual representation of reality (and they waste your time!).
Tip no3: Stop Self-Deprecation
We’re talking about lack of self-confidence here… Because yes, to overcome your complexes, you need to work on your self-esteem. People suffering from an inferiority complex tend to systematically put themselves down in front of others, even when they receive compliments or accomplish great things. They feel illegitimate, they minimize the scope of their achievements, and they automatically reject any compliment, downplaying its significance (or sincerity!). So it’s time to correct course: accept being valued by valuing yourself.
Tip no4: Stop Fixating
To overcome your complexes, why not redirect your attention to things you like? A large part of complexes are created through self-suggestion: you convince yourself that your nose is horrible, your thighs are too thick or your belly isn’t flat enough. Result: all your attention is focused on that complex and you can’t see anything else. It would be much better to shift your focus to your qualities and highlight them: beautiful eyes, slim and long legs, gorgeous hair, radiant skin. Yes, it works, and you’ll already think much less about your complexes!
Tip no5: Back to Normal
To overcome your complexes, why not accept the obvious: you’re normal. You’re human. You’re “like everyone else”. Is that a tragedy? No. You’re not a model, so what? “Top models” are selected for their exceptional bodies, but “normal” bodies make up the vast majority of humanity. Simply be realistic and look at what you are, rather than envying what you can’t be. In good health, full of charm, surrounded by friends, supported by a loving family… That’s already pretty good, isn’t it?
Tip no6: Positive Surroundings
And since we’re talking about friends and family, know that your circle plays a major role when you want to overcome your complexes. If your loved ones spend their time putting you down, there’s little chance you’ll get rid of your complexes. But if you choose your company carefully, opting for genuinely positive and loving people, there’s a good chance your complexes will gradually fade away. Moreover, they’ll be a valuable source of support when you’re feeling down. So invest in positive people, you’ll definitely feel better!
Tip no7: Accept Who You Are
Yes, you have flaws, like everyone else! They certainly feed your complexes. But they shouldn’t be a punishment! If you deprive yourself of trips to the pool, beach vacations or wearing certain outfits just because you don’t like your buttocks or your arms, you’re punishing yourself twice over. To overcome your complexes, you need to learn to accept yourself. Take it gradually, but steadily: an hour at the pool, wearing a fitted outfit for a few hours… These little “dares” will help you put things in perspective and gradually accept who you are: a beautiful person!
Tip no8: Celebrate Your Differences
What if you turned your so-called flaws into assets? To overcome your complexes, sometimes all you need to do is “play up” what you think is a flaw, even turning it into a strength…. Think of model Winnie Harlow and her now-famous vitiligo, influencer Douzefévrier (Julie Bourges), whose skin is marked with burn scars, singer Lizzo who, despite her weight, posts nude photos on social media, or actress Palma de Rossi, who made her “look” her trademark. These women used their difference as a kind of brand, a distinctive sign that makes them instantly recognizable… and appreciated for who they are!
Tip no9: Love Yourself
What if we simply started by loving ourselves? Yes, the task can be tough for some. Yes, it requires introspection (sometimes painful)… but also a lot of self-compassion. You only have one life—do you really want to spend it beating yourself up? Instead, take time to care for yourself. Pamper yourself, do exercise at your own pace (without performance pressure), become aware of your body and how wonderful it is. It’s healthy, it allows you to move, to get around, to accomplish amazing things. To overcome your complexes, you need to learn to love yourself at your true worth.
Tip no10: Seek Professional Help
If your complexes are so overwhelming that they’re making you sick, it might be time to see a therapist. Perhaps this “fixation” is hiding deeper discomfort. In any case, psychotherapy can be beneficial: overcoming your complexes, but especially addressing underlying issues and moving past an inferiority complex that takes up far too much space. Speaking has unsuspected power!
Reference
(1) 2020, Yougov Survey, 2 out of 3 women say they’re self-conscious about their bodies